Category: Linkin Park

Anxiety, GAD, Linkin Park, Mental Health, PTSD

Losing my Shit Over a Sweater (The Red Flag I Ignored)

Amanda Wilson

If you’re a person who changes their outfit five times before heading out the door, raise your hand.

🙋

Now before anyone starts pointing fingers, I’m not judging. I am also picky about the clothes I wear, despite always reverting back to ol’ faithful (a tee-shirt and skinny jeans). As an adult woman, there is nothing wrong with this. Sometimes it depends on the occasion, sometimes it depends on my mood, and sometimes it depends on the weather pouring out of the heavens. (It’s hard to wear skits and dresses in a place where it can get up to -30°C without freezing to death.)

And while I have the potential to throw on five to ten different outfits before heading out the door – ignoring the eye rolls and the endless “You’re beautiful no matter what you wear!” from my fiancĂ© – is not always warranted from being “just picky”. It sometimes stems from something greater, something more profound.

Sometimes my PTSD is the demon lurking in my closet (and in my fashion choices).

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Linkin Park, Mental Health, Music and Therapy, PTSD

My 2018 Fight Anthems

Amanda Wilson

I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again.

Music is one of my greatest healing tools when it comes to my mental health.

2017 was a killer year for me, especially when it came to my mental health. For the first time in six years, I felt like myself and I didn’t have any major depressive episodes (that lasted for months at a time). It was a milestone that I am so grateful for. Not that I’m trying to diminish the impact my PTSD has on my mental health, but for the first time in a long time, I’m excited about starting another year off to a good start.

Has every day been great? No. Have I had my moments where my PTSD kicked my ass? Yes! But the one thing I’ve learned about my mental healthis that I take it all in stride. I take it day by day. I can’t predict how my mental health will play out over a week, let alone a month, or even a year. That isn’t something I have control over. The best I can do is take a deep breath and keep moving forward.

But I’m still determined to make the most of 2018, regardless to what the future has in store of me. I’m going to have some crazy and wild moments this year (and I finally get to marry the love of my life!), so in keeping my best foot forward, I’ve been keeping my music updated on my phone. I’ve been creating lists of kick-ass songs to help motivate me through the battles and songs to help me when I’m feeling a little bruised and battered.

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Linkin Park, Mental Illness, Music and Therapy

Why I’m Grieving a Man I’ve Never Met

Amanda Wilson

Disclaimer: If you experience suicidal thoughts or have lost someone to suicide, the following post could be potentially triggering. You can contact the NL 24 Hour Crisis Line at 1-888-7374668.

It took me a week to finally put words on paper.

It took me days to finally come to terms with the fact that one of my biggest role models and idols is gone. I spent several nights this week crying myself to sleep at the thought that I lost one of my favourite people to listen to on repeat.

Chester Bennington’s death struck me so hard I felt (and still feel) devastated.

In learning of his death, I was thrown right back to a time in my life where I too had contemplated taking my own life. Chester’s death brought back memories that I didn’t want to remember. Famous or not, when someone dies so tragically, it’s easy for my own hurt to resurface –  a painful reminder that it could have been me. I was physically and emotionally distressed Thursday evening. I had so much of my own pain wrecking havoc on my mind, and then trying to fully grasp that Chester had died, I honestly didn’t know what to do with myself. I spent hours curled up on my couch, crying hysterically because I was so upset. Keep Reading!