Category: PPD

Anxiety, Mental Health, PPD, PTSD, Suicide

Mind on Fire

Amanda Wilson

Have you ever been so low that you’ve felt unworthy of living?

I have.

You can sense the shift right before it happens. One day you are doing well, then the next something is off. You have a twang in your stomach that just doesn’t sit right. Your nerves are on edge, trembling almost with an invisible anticipation – waiting for something to happen. It’s like waiting for a bomb to go off, counting down the last seconds. Tick… tick… tick…

Sometimes the shift is gradual, almost undetectable, and other times it hits you like a tidal wave, overwhelming you to the point you’re drowning in your own pain. Your brain runs on overdrive. Your thoughts are rambling. You become rigid with fear. Your mind is on fire.

Suddenly, the most terrible realization hits you:

Death seems more comforting than life.

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#depression, Anxiety, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Motherhood, New Mom, PPD

The Three O’clock Blues

Amanda Wilson

If there is one thing they don’t warn you about after having a baby is that you’ll grieve your old life sans baby.

Remember that solitude time you could have to yourself on a day off or being able to binge watch a show on Netflix at your own leisure? Yeah, I don’t either.

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Anxiety, GAD, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Motherhood, New Mom, PPD, PTSD

Today I was “That” Mom

Amanda Wilson

I was “that” mom today.

The type of mom that society deems “unfit”. The mom that other moms whisper about behind her back. The mom who’s judged by others wondering if she should have been a parent at all.

I was “that” mom that stuck her baby in a crib to let him “cry it out”. I was that mom who put her baby in front of an iPad for 40 minutes because she needed a break. I was that mom that let her baby muddle around on the living room floor while she took a 10 minute break on Instagram. I was “that” mom.

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Anxiety, GAD, Mental Illness, PPD, PTSD

It’s OK to go Back to Therapy

Amanda Wilson

One thing I have learned over the years when it comes to my mental illness, and living with my PTSD and GAD, is that healing comes in waves.

Just as my depressive episodes tend to come and go, depending on any number of factors, healing is the eventual next step in the process.

But for me, and for many others out there, healing has to be a choice.

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Mental Health, Motherhood, New Mom, PPD

5 Honest Facts About PPD

Amanda Wilson

I’m gonna be brutally honest with you. Motherhood is hard AF.

Never in my life have I experienced so many new challenges and hurdles when it comes to attempting to raise a “perfect” child. It seems like you can’t get through one phase without another one slapping you right in the face (or drooling over your face – Thanks, kiddo!) There are so many stages your child has to go through to develop into a little human being – the newborn stage, the infant stage, the shit-my-pants-three-times-a-day phase; all relevant to healthy brain (and bowel) developments, but also learning experiences for mama.

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