Anxiety, GAD, Mental Health, PTSD

Living in the Grey

I had a small breakthrough in therapy a few weeks ago.

Lately, I’ve been stuck in a constant cycle of having either really good days or really bad days. Over the last several months, a lot has changed in my life, especially when it comes to my mental health. And no, I’m not merely blaming my shift because of Covid-19 or the new outbreaks my home province has been experiencing, but there has been a major shift.

After spending nearly a month in the hospital because I had started making plans to end my life, I’ve entered 2021 with almost a defeated attitude. Between adjusting to new medications, continuing my trauma therapy, and getting myself prepared for EMDR treatment later this year, I already feel like this year has taken it’s toll, and we’re only into the second week of March.

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#depression, Anxiety, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Motherhood, New Mom, PPD

The Three O’clock Blues

If there is one thing they don’t warn you about after having a baby is that you’ll grieve your old life sans baby.

Remember that solitude time you could have to yourself on a day off or being able to binge watch a show on Netflix at your own leisure? Yeah, I don’t either.

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Anxiety, GAD, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Motherhood, New Mom, PPD, PTSD

Today I was “That” Mom

I was “that” mom today.

The type of mom that society deems “unfit”. The mom that other moms whisper about behind her back. The mom who’s judged by others wondering if she should have been a parent at all.

I was “that” mom that stuck her baby in a crib to let him “cry it out”. I was that mom who put her baby in front of an iPad for 40 minutes because she needed a break. I was that mom that let her baby muddle around on the living room floor while she took a 10 minute break on Instagram. I was “that” mom.

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